


A Word from Patriot Brand Cigarettes: Howl

by lalalalalawhy



Category: The Thrilling Adventure Hour
Genre: Gen, Patriot Brand Cigarettes, Smoking, TAH Ads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4604271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalalalalawhy/pseuds/lalalalalawhy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And now, word from our sponsor, via a leading voice of the Beat Generation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Word from Patriot Brand Cigarettes: Howl

CURTAIN UP:

 

_A stage lit by a single spotlight. In this spotlight there is a man seated on a stool, smoke from his cigarette curling gently up into the rafters. He is wearing a gray wool jacket and gray wool pants, both a little threadbare. His oxford shirt was probably once white, but it too has taken on a grayish hue. His hair is dark, thinning, and speckled with gray. His beard curls aggressively outwards, toward the audience, but he doesn’t meet their gaze. He takes a long drag on his cigarette, then stubs it out._

 

ALLEN GINSBERG:

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked… and without smokes!

 

_He pats his jacket pockets, finds a pack there, and draws out a cigarette, triumphantly._

 

ALLEN GINSBERG:

I’m beat poet Allen Ginsberg, famous for my opposition to the twin destructive forces of capitalism and conformity. I fought the man before your parents even figured out who He was. I raged against the machine with words and deeds!

 

_He pulls out a lighter and lights the cigarette._

ALLEN GINSBERG:

But I’ll be the first to admit, Patriot Brand cigarettes are the best reason to celebrate the sphinx of cement and aluminum that is a metaphor for the capital-industrial complex slowly bleeding our society dry of all creativity and original thought.

 

_He takes a drag._

ALLEN GINSBERG:

So refreshing! America I've given you all... and Patriot Cigarettes has given it all back and then some!

 

_He takes an interminably long drag. It’s ridiculous how long this drag is. Can a person’s lungs even hold that much smoke?_

ALLEN GINSBERG:

America two dollars and twenty-seven cents January 17, 1956.

 

_He exhales, and the smoke rises around him like steam escaping an engine._

ALLEN GINSBERG:

A bargain! Take it from me, Allen Ginsberg: when giving in to the gaping dripping maw of societal norms, pack a pack of Patriot Brand cigarettes. They’re good for your…

 

_He buries his face in his hands, cigarette barely smoldering between his fingers. The spotlight slowly fades until the glowing ember is all that’s left, illuminating only the tiniest whiff of smoke._

ALLEN GINSBERG:

...Constitution.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Mansion for being an amazing beta (and having Poetry Appreciation Time with me).
> 
> This is the first installment of my TAH Fanfic Mondays effort, where I try to post something every Monday and encourage others to do the same. I want this to be a successful venture, and I want people to be excited about it. I thought long and hard about whether or not I wanted to start this venture off with a more accessible fic. Some Doyles backstory, for instance, or a cute bit of Sparks/Croach fluff. After all, those are the fan favorites.
> 
> But I decided (with some encouragement from Mansion and secrets-of-luftnarp (luftie), [Brian Stacks voice: aw, thanks guys]) that what I really love about Thrilling Adventure Hour is just how unapologetically weird it is. So here's my piece of unapologetic weirdness. Happy TAH Fanfic Monday, the first of many.


End file.
